Bop it, twist it, pull it, spin it,
you are testing out my limit.
Morn to night I’m sworn to fight it.
Bop it, twist it, pull it, break it.

Bop it, twist it, pull it, spin it,
Shut that thing up for a minute,
Or with flaming coals I’ll light it.
Bop it, twist it, burn it, break it.

Bop it, twist it, pull it, spin it,
I don’t see the humor in it
In the garbage heap I’ll toss it
Bop it, trash it, burn it, break it.

Bop it, twist it, pull it, spin it,
I will take that thing and pin it
To the floor this very minute.
Smash it, trash it, burn it, break it.

Pneumatic odes upon the roads
Of rubber on the tarmac
They sing their songs of massive throngs
With luggage on their roof rack

For hours they roam afar from home
In search of relaxation
So on they speed to find their creed.
At last! The right vacation.

So first they park then disembark
Into a perfect landscape
With just a flick the Insta pic
Goes zooming to the netscape.

A thousand hours among the flowers
Yields just a dozen photos
But soon the likes of Facebook strikes
Their glorious views of meadows

And soon the thrum of tapping thumb
Comes buzzing o’er the network
The smartphone dings and their heart sings
To get more useless artwork.

Pneumatic odes upon the roads
The crowd spends all their money
All just to view some red green blue
I find it kinda funny.

Come my darlings, I’ve a story
Come, my sweets, I have a tale
Now I promise it’s not gory
I assure you it’s not stale.

It’s about a thing that’s dirty
And it’s got a nasty smell
It’s a thing that’s rather gritty
As it oozes up your well.

It’s about a thing that’s slimy
As it slithers through your door
It’s about a thing that’s climby
As it wriggles up your stair.

It’s about a thing that’s creepy
It’s about a thing that’s tall
How it slithers while you’re sleepy
How it glides on up the hall.

It’s about a thing that’s crawly
As you get your beauty sleeps
It’s about your mighty folly
As it in your bedroom creeps.

It’s about the little locky
How you didn’t get it closed
How the crawly jabberwocky
Found its way up to your toes.

Can you hear the munchy crunchy?
As it nibbles on your feet?
Can you feel how you’re its lunchy
As your legs it finds quite neat?

Soon oh soon I fear this story
It will have a screeching halt
And it’s turned out rather gory
And, I fear, it’s all your fault!

If only, yes, if only
You had locked your door tonight
Your legs would all be bone-ly
And you’d see the morning light.

But alas your heart is chewy
And the jabberwocky’s starved
And your brain is rather gooey
As your skull my teethies carved.

So for now I end my munchy
And for now I end my lunch
As I finish up this bunchy
Crunchy munchy crunch crunch crunch.

My friend Jed’s an android
I don’t know what to do.
It’s true he looks a humanoid
With white and pasty hue.

A “beep! chirp!” A babble
He says to human ears.
His cryptic metal rattle
Leaves flesh and blood in tears.

It’s not science fiction
It’s really truly “life”
You hear it in his diction
The evidence is rife.

His guts leak their oil
His eyes are fiery red
His pointy flashing smile
Can chew your severed head.

He whirs clicks and stutters
When moving in the night
You’ll hear his saws and cutters
Before he takes a byte.

And yes! Jed seems normal
When in the light of day.
He only looks infernal
When he comes out to flay.

So yes! Yes! Please notice
The metal glinting eyes.
And how his robot focus
Will track you like a prize.

My friend Jed’s an android
I don’t know what to do.
For underneath the humanoid
With white and pasty hue
The cold and icy android
May have its eye on YOU!

Pose, Ted! Sit still for a minute!
We’re taking a picture and we want you in it!
Just stop flopping over and then we’ll be done,
We’re getting quite sick of you having your fun.

Pose, Ted! Sit still for a minute!
I promise you, man, I’m reaching my limit!
Stop shimmying ‘round in that terrible way
And open your eyes man it’s middle of day

Pose, Ted! Sit still for a minute!
To get you upright takes an act of the Senate!
I wish you’d stop slouching yourself off that chair.
Perhaps what you need is a breath of fresh air.

Pose, Ted! Lie still for a minute!
I’ll quickly make sure the flowers are in it.
Perhaps what you need is this nice comfy bed
With pillows and padding to cushion your head

Pose, Ted! Lie still for a minute!
Just try on this suit man, I hope that you fit it.
It really goes well with the shade of the wood!
The cherry and walnut will really look good.

Pose, Ted! Lie still for a minute!
I’ve made a big hole here and you’ll soon be in it.
I hope that the cushions will be soft and nice;
I wish I could pay to put you on ice.

Do demons of doubt rage against you
And torment you every day?
Do thoughts of the evil one’s lurking
Bring panic to stand in your way?

Oh fearful one, rise from your trembling
And stand in the Father’s peace!
The lion that seeks to destroy you
Shall never devour his feast.

Stand up; be of service to Jesus
And fear not the devil’s alarm.
When the hand of the Mighty One holds you
Then nothing shall bring you harm.

Remember that no one who’s evil
Can take away God’s perfect peace.
Your mind on the love of the Master
Will force all the devils to cease.

No spirit of fear shall o’erwhelm you,
No demons of dark despair.
The hand of the mighty one holds you.
You’re safe in the Father’s care.

Clackety clack, clackety clack,
Clackety clackety clackety clack.
Keep on going, don’t look back;
The train is trundling down the track.

Waddling on! We know not where!
Following the lines from here to there,
Traveling the tracks from dusk to dawn,
Going to places hither and yon.

Faster and faster the engine goes.
Louder and louder the whistle blows.
You shouldn’t walk the tracks like that.
Clackety clackety clackety splat.

Engineers program from dawn till dusk,
Cursing their overlord Elon Musk.
We wonder perhaps why they’d be so bitter,
But, ah! we remember they work at Twitter.